all the pieces of my heart ...: Hillary Clinton .... My Record of Accomplishment !

"My list of Accomplishment As Secretary of State by Hillary Clinton."

“Because of my influence Barrack Obama appointed 25 female ambassadors and cheap cookstoves can be found around the world”

"I got Osama bin Laden, making the world a much safer place."

or some similar drivel ....

I must admit I missed the Obama / Clinton farewell Tete a Tete at the White House where apparently once erstwhile political enemies are now fast bosom buddies - but then apparently I've also missed all of Clinton's accomplishments as Secretary of State for the last 4 years.

I imagine though, as she prepared the listing herself for her biography to be used as part of the official State Department archives and for her future political career narratives, it went sort of like this:

I maintained our alliance with Pakistan, uhh maybe shouldn't talk about that one since my boss, Obama is under investigation now by the UN for war crimes because of drone attacks indiscriminately killing civilians and children. The Pakistani's aren't too happy about us right now, either. Nope, better cross that one off.

Ok, I successfully stopped North Korea's aggression against South Korea and their pursuit of ICBM’s that could reach the US Mainland. There was that nasty little matter of both exchanging artillery fire but nobody got killed. And the North Koreans said their last missile launch was just to put a satellite in orbit, but I know how they lie.

I successfully stopped a ground war invasion by Israel into Gaza, sort of. And I brought a lasting peace to Palestine and Israel with a settlement freeze but it has so many loopholes you can't really say it means anything. I kept Hamas from shelling Israel with rockets from the south – yeah, that’s been real iffy too. You’d think that Netanyahu would be grateful, but Noooo, he just keeps pushin and pushin. I mean what’s it going to take to satisfy that man? Another crusade ?

I prevented the Iranians from enriching nuclear material for a bomb they want to use to blow the Israelis to smithereens with – at least until this week when they announced they were not slowing down but moving full steam ahead again. And then they went ahead and just launched their own ICBM capable rocket - Crap, everyone's squirming about that one!

I helped the anti Assad Syrian forces who just happen to be Al Qaeda from Libya get weapons by way of Turkey with secret meetings arranged by Ambassador Stevens- then that whole thing blew up in our faces in Benghazi with Stevens getting killed. Damn that Rand Paul for asking about weapons going to Syria through Turkey anyway, he can just go knocking on the CIA’s door. I’m not saying any more. And the whole mess, at this point, just what does it matter anyway ? And I know a lot of people are dying over there but just as many are dying in the Congo and we're not doing anything for them either.

Let's see, hmmm, I didn't really do anything about the drug cartel violence in Mexico and the US - skip that one …. except maybe help shepherd along a gun grab and gun ban in the United Nations - that worked out pretty well postponing the UN treaty so Obama could get re-elected and then having him call the delegation on his election night to go ahead with the treaty anyway. But that's not until March and I'll be long gone by then.

I got that sissy Obama to finally move on Libya and get rid of Qaddafi for his human rights atrocities but that hasn't worked out too well either because the "freedom fighters" who are actually terrorists themselves are committing worse atrocities and human rights violations than Qaddafi did. Then there are all of those weapons that got stolen by the terrorists right under our noses - Gawd, that’s gonna blow up in our faces everywhere someday - the Jordanians already intercepted some that were going to be used to blow up our embassy there - but there was that awful Algerian attack and killing of all those hostages in the natural gas fields.

And that Egyptian idiot Morsi after all we've done for him he’s still stirring up trouble with the Israelis and his own people - trying to do a power grab of the government by coming up with his own constitution - just who does he think he IS .... Obama ? Probably can't use that one either since we didn’t support the "green" protests in Iran when those protestors unfortunately got killed. Or, the protests in Saudi Arabia, Yemen, and Bahrain either.

Let's see there was that “red line” thing that I and Barrack made such a big deal about Syria not using chemical weapons or they would really, I mean really regret it cause we have troops over there in Jordan just waiting for a “go’ signal – and then those bastards used chemicals in December - Now the Israelis are all hot and bothered again saying they’ll go to war with Syria - good thing we can count on the press, they sure helped us play that down - otherwise both Obama and I would have to make good on our promises to go in get Assad for crossing the red line. Nope, don’t wanna talk about it. Oh well, Kerry can clean that mess up too.

Let’s see hmmm, I haven't done anything about the growing tensions over the Falkland Islands again, or about China and Japan pissing over property and mineral right in the Senkaku Islands.

The Chinese and Russians keep trying to knock off our dollar as the world's reserve currency but I don't understand all that mumbo jumbo financial stuff Bernanke’s always spouting about anyway - all I know is I'm a progressive and all progressives know that the interest piling up on all of our debt isn’t a good thing because it robs us of money that we could be spending. We have to get the deficits under control and the only way to do that is tax more so we have more money to pay off the interest so we can borrow more and keep on spending - and the Republicans, hah, they just want us to stop spending - what do they know anyway, they don't know anything about big government.

Women's rights now that has been a big thing for me - having Obama appoint 25 female ambassadors and getting cookstoves for the developing world. But that shooting of a 14 year old girl in the head by the Taliban, well all that did was only to remind everyone just how little meaningful progress there has really been in the plight of women worldwide.

My leadership at State is the reason we brought down the number 1 terrorist in the world - Osama bin Laden. Ok, maybe it was the CIA and Pentagon, but I was there in the situation room when the SEALS killed Bin Laden - There's a photo that proves it! Yeah, this one definitely stays in.

My list of Accomplishment As Secretary of State by Hillary Clinton.

“Because of my influence Barrack Obama appointed 25 female ambassadors and cheap cookstoves can be found around the world”

"I got Osama bin Laden, making the world a much safer place."

Yep, lots of activity Hillary, but real short on success. Underwhelming hardly covers it. You and Barrack can be so proud.